Press Room

Reading Aloud With Kids: A Dad's Perspective

Posted on May 27, 2009

The changing role of fathers in today's society asks more of us than ever before. A particular challenge for many of us is finding ways to forge and maintain strong emotional connections to our children as they grow. Reading aloud to our children not only allows us to promote the habit of literacy and to provide positive role models for our children, it also gives fathers a means to foster deeper emotional relationships with them. Further, reading aloud to your children is something that can be done with children of any age, whether they are still in diapers or heading off to college:

Infants: Yes, you should read to your infants. Babies need to feel loved and protected, and if you read to them while holding them, they will learn to associate those positive feelings with reading and books. At this age, it's far less about the content of the books, and far more about the experience of being together. Allow your infant to physically interact with the book (a sturdy board book at this age), so they can experience it as a real object that they will associate with the pleasure of reading. It's never too early; even very young babies can be given a fabric book to hold and play with.

For the current generation of parents, much has been made of the benefits of breastfeeding, not only for nutrition but also as a way for mothers to emotionally bond with their babies. As fathers we don't have access to this primal form of connecting with our infants, so it's important to seek out other shared experiences that can forge a bond between us. Holding a baby in your arms while you read to them is one way to convey your love for them, and all infants are soothed by having their parents near. Remember to keep your voice and manner calm and soothing, and you could even consider this as a good time for some skin-to-skin contact with your baby to deepen the experience. If you read to your baby at bedtime, you’ll also be laying the foundation of a good bedtime ritual that will help your child get to sleep. Overall, if you treat reading to your baby as a special time for father and child to be together, you'll be giving them the gift of a future of reading and yourself the gift of happy memories in the years to come.

Young children: We think of this as a traditional time to read to children, and indeed this can be one of the great pleasures of this time in a child's life. While modern families are increasingly less concerned with traditional or strict gender roles, some child rearing tasks are still considered largely a job for either moms or dads. Reading is generally not one of these tasks, so it's one that dads can generally take on (and should seize upon) as a way of maintaining close bonds with our children. Establishing a regular bedtime ritual can also be very important at this age, when sleep is especially vital for good health and a child is building habits of behavior.

Children's books can be a lot of fun at this age, and reading to your children at bedtime can also be a chance for dad to unwind after a long day with a short book that is lightly humorous, thoughtful, or poetic. A dad's sense of humor can be a lot more rough and ready than a mom's - just like a young boy's or girl's at this age - and fortunately children's books are no longer as stuffy as they once were. So share a book like Walter the Farting Dog or The Stupids Die with your child, and show them how much fun reading can be!

It's also important for children this age to see you reading on your own, whether it's books, magazines, newspapers, or even the Web. Young children are careful observers of your behavior, and if you treat reading as something desirable then so will they. Further, watch out for "teachable moments" when you can show them the usefulness of reading, and how it helps adults navigate the world. Children of this age are working their way towards independence, and once they understand the power of reading they will be far more motivated to succeed at it. Show them how reading the words "Men" and "Women" can explain which bathroom to use even when there isn’t a logo, and they'll suddenly see the importance of reading in a whole new light.

Older Children/Independent Readers: Once children are reading on their own, a dad's job isn’t finished. In fact, it's only beginning. Even if you are no longer reading to your children, you can still help promote their interest in and love of reading. The best thing you can do for your children at this age is to make sure they have access to books and other reading material, and to help them learn how to navigate the world of reading. Learn what they are interested in - whether its sports or video gaming - and find reading material that addresses those interests; they are guaranteed to want to read it. A child who likes sports might enjoy a subscription to Sports Illustrated for Kids, while a video game enthusiast might enjoy a book of cheat codes for their favorite game. Reading material like this will not only hold their interest, it will also show them how reading can be useful in ways that are meaningful to them. If it's an interest that you share with them, engage them in active discussion about what they are reading (and if it's not, fake some interest anyway).

Don't underestimate the power of simply taking your kids to the library. Even if you are not a reader yourself, you can help your children by giving them regular access to the books and resources of your local public library. Now is also a good time to teach them how to use a library - how to find fiction and nonfiction, or books at different reading levels, or how to search for a book they are looking for. You and your child can ask a children's or YA librarian for help in learning about the different parts of your library. You'll find that the children's section is a very welcoming place for any father who wants to help his children become good readers. Better still, first go on your own and ask the librarian for a tour, then amaze your kids with dad's knowledge of the library! And when they are old enough for their own library card, make an occasion of it. You don’t have to hire a clown and throw a party, but at least take them out for ice cream. While public libraries are becoming somewhat eclipsed by the rise of electronic media, they remain a fantastic means for promoting reading and literacy, and an indispensable resource for children this age.

Now is also a good age to begin to teach your children how to navigate other information resources. Teach them how to use a (kid-friendly) search engine, or online resources such as Wikipedia. An essential skill they can be taught in our modern era is how best to find the information they need: should they use the Web, search for a book, watch a TV program, ask someone, etc. Even within the pages of a book, you can teach them basic skills such as how to use the index and the table of contents, how to skim, etc. At this age more than any other, it's important for fathers to provide role models that show that adults - including adult men - can be readers. When children are deciding what kind of adults they want to be, fathers can set a strong example of the importance of reading.

And don't stop reading to your kids at this age either! Now is the time to share books that may be too advanced for younger readers but are still designed to entice and hold the interest of children. Try reading them classic adventure stories such as Treasure Island or The Hobbit. You’ll be giving them the gift of having access to works that they may be interested in but are not yet able to read, and simultaneously motivate them to improve their reading skills. You can even use the power of media to work with you rather than against you; if your child has a favorite children's movie then read them the novelization, or read them the book that inspired the movie in the first place.

Tweens/Teen Years: You may no longer be reading bedtime stories to children this age, but that’s no reason to think that your job as a father is completely done. Now is the time to get even more innovative in helping your children build reading habits that will carry them into adulthood. One way is to share books that are of interest to you both, a category of books that has exploded in recent years. Series such as the Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, or Gregor the Overlander books are gripping and fun books that can be enjoyed by young and old alike. At an age when children are becoming independent and it can become challenging for fathers to maintain emotional connections with them, shared books can be a way of bringing you together without the awkwardness typical of this age.

Show them by your ongoing support that a love of reading is not something childish to be put away when we reach adulthood. If you can afford it, buy them that new Harry Potter or Twilight book as soon as it comes out, and then borrow it to read it yourself. Allow them to choose a book as a gift in addition to their regular presents for their birthday or the holidays. This is also the time to show them that, far from being stodgy and dull, books can be radical and rebellious and challenge the status quo. Books like Feed, King Dork (see our review), and the Uglies Trilogy will all appeal to young people who are questioning the world and their place in it. They can also open a way to discuss emerging issues that may feel uncomfortable for fathers, such sex and romantic relationships.

Audiobooks can be a boon to reading at any age, but they can be especially useful at this age as another way for fathers and children to engage with books together. Audiobooks can be shared when doing chores together such as washing the dishes, on car trips together, or even as a way to be together in the same room as a family without the television on. Free resources of appropriate audiobooks can be found in many places, from your local library to the LibriVox website to podcasts such as Clonepod and Escape Pod Classic.

Building a love of reading in our children is a vital task for fathers, and one that is an ongoing project no matter what their age. Resources such as The Read-Aloud Handbook can help you find books at the appropriate age level, but the most important resource is your willingness to promote reading as an important part of their lives. You’ll be building a legacy that will continue to help them in their lives as adults, and giving them one of the best gifts that a father can give to his children.